Pass on wisdom not wounds

Far too often it is so easy for us to speak to and about people, not from a place of truth, but from a place of interpretation. I observe this every day.

I am a people watcher. I watch reactions and responses. I watch eye rolls and lowered gazes. I watch how a little innocuous comment can actually be a poison dart careful aimed and fired at an obvious target.

Hard taught lessons in my life have shown me how to see red flags – even red flags that come guised as white flags of surrender. I have learned to respond not to react.

Oh, sometimes a knee-jerk reaction happens. I’m human. Sometimes my “dealt with a narcissist ” quota has been exceeded and, oops, reaction….

My advice to all of us (as much to myself as to anyone else who happens to read this): as a parent, or step-parent, we should pass on wisdom to our children not wounds. When we speak of others in their lives, our children sense the heart and tone in our words. Watch not only the what but the how when you say your words. Insecurities, jealousies, angers and hurts are interpreted by your children – loudly and clearly.

Speaking of “made with love”…

These diamond willow candle holders were made by my dad.

They have followed me through the years – they have seen a lot. They have gotten me through a lot.

Seeing them is such a source of comfort and strength.

I’m so fortunate for my dad. He is my teacher, my confidant and one of my best friends. It is so nice to be able to call on him whenever I need him – for sage advice and quiet reflection.

My dad (and his parents, especially my granny) fostered in me a love for nature that has carried me through my life and has kept me grounded through all life has thrown this way – the good, the bad, the terrible and the amazing.

Thanks, Dad!

Made with Love

In our home we prefer homemade. My husband and I love working in our kitchen together and/or with our children making breads and treats and pizzas, and experimenting with new flavors, of pancakes and breads especially. We do this as often as our schedules allow but aim for at least once a week.

Last week, when we had my husband’s kids for our week with them, we took to making our own baked doughnuts and topped them with a delicious cinnamon sugar.

They were an immediate hit and the pleas to make them more often resounded from 4 of 6 children. I’m going to safely presume the other 2 would wholeheartedly agree…once they taste them. 😉

In our home, cooking is an act of love; we pour our heart and love into our recipes as freely as we pour our garlic. Ha ha!This is a huge reason behind our love of canning and freezing foods fresh from our garden, a local community garden, local farmers and from the forest.

In fact, I’m so excited to be able to return to the forest for another harvest this coming season. This is a huge part of my childhood and my upbringing. As a family (three generations of family and now includes a fourth and, once old enough, fifth generation), we would gather and prepare. I recall many, many mosquito-ridden, picnic lunch packed, heat stroke suffering days of gathering berries of all sorts, rosehips and wild horseradish, and harvesting our gardens as a family.

My favorite memories are sitting on the cool cement stairs in front of my granny’s house, tipping and tailing beans, shelling peas and absorbing every word she spoke through her stories and wisdom.

My least favorite, but still as rewarding, butchering days. Necessary, appreciated once on my plate, but not my favorite. Why? After a season or so of caring for those chicks, piglets and calves I grew fond of them; I even broke the cardinal farm rule of never naming any animal other than the dogs, cats, horses and the milk cows, and would bestow names upon one or two or all…butchering days became difficult tasks when a named animal fell to slaughter but such is the hand dealt to a farm kid (especially a farm kid who blatantly disregarded the “no naming animals” rule).

Harvest is not for months yet so why am I thinking about it now?

Now is when we prepare. Plan the garden, prepare the seeds by starting them in the house, plot the garden lay-out….and wait to reap the tasty, tasty rewards.

Precious Moments

Probably the highlight of my day is the one-on-one time we spend with the kids – engaged in mindful communication, cuddles and laughter.

Ok. Ok. There is no “probably ” about it. Haha.

We choose to devote our time, energy and attention to our blended family of 6 children.

They grow up so quickly and no amount of money can buy back that time.

So proud

Fear can suck it. We are so proud of this guy and the bravery he exuded getting up on the horse.

He asked if he could, scared himself and only needed mild reassurance that his step-mama was in control of the horse and Uncle would be right beside him.

In the end, Uncle doubled with him as I lead them around. What a moment of joy for me to see his face beaming with pride over his accomplishments. ❤